I was raised in front of the TV, and I turned out TV

I would like to take this time to vent my frustrations about certain commercials on TV that have irked me in one way or another.Firstly, I can remember three that display an alarming disregard for family values:

1) A commercial for a minivan in which a family is driving through a beautiful landscape of mountains (looks like the sierras). The father and mother appear very content and, oddly, so do the kids. But young children are bored with their tangible surroundings, so what are they so happy about? The damn TV screen on the roof... THAT's what. New surroundings are supposed to stimulate us, especially on long trips. They may not shiny or moving, but they define where you exist on this earth. Parents should teach the importance of this, instead of "how to shut up and watch Finding Nemo."

2) Christmas has already gone by but this one stays in my memory. It involves children singing Christmas carols in front of neighbors' houses. Sounds innocent enough... Except they aren't singing; they're humming. And they also are very interested in what seems to be the snow on the ground. In reality they are staring at the new installment of the Gameboy franchise, totally disconnected from the task at hand. Ahh, I love it when blatant commercialism takes the place of Christmas spirit.

3) This one's a grand slam.... Every loving parent would want to train their son/daughter (preferably son) in the fine game of baseball. How to do it? Buy them the new ball-on-a-rope-tied-to-a-pole apparatus (I can't remember whatever ridiculous name they gave it). This great invention is basically tetherball with a bat. It's supposed to teach batting skills somehow: The kid hits the ball, it wraps around, unwraps, he hits it again. Here's the great part: at some point in the commercial, it gives you a scenario of what's wrong with the current situation. The narrator says something to effect of "Never again will fathers be forced to play catch with their children, just set the kid loose with the ball on a pole!" And there's a clip of the old father-and-son combo playing ball. I guess bonding with one's offspring is just another time-burglar in this workaday world.

Here are a couple more, in case you're still reading. They involve the sacred bond of marriage:

1) A husband and wife are having some kind of computer problem, only to have their 2-year-old son solve it by banging the mouse with a toy hammer. Pretty cute. However, while discussing ways to solve the problem, the wife suggests they employ the help of the neighborhood teenager. To which the husband responds, "...but he's always looking at your legs." Are we to believe this man is jealous of a 15-year-old nerd. But he's probably right though; I'm sure the Mrs. is just waiting for the opportunity to jump his acne-covered body.

2) This one's for a travel website that offers different vacation packages. The husband asks the wife if she'd like to go surfing. She would, and thus he ponders the ensuing trip. He imagines his wife sitting on a surfboard in the ocean surrounded by Baywatch-like "instructors." She is flirting with these guys, while the husband is floating nearby with the green-eyed monster. We are then jolted back to the computer where the husband suggests doing something a little more monogamous.... whatever that is. I'm glad trust is still valued so greatly in marriage. I'm also glad that commercials are planting these ideas in our heads about our significant other. Keep that divorce rate rising!

I'm never watching TV again.

I can't believe you don't shut-up!

Hey! Guess what?! I saw the cutest commercial yesterday with a little tiny kitten! I was like, "awwww, that's so cute!!" Which reminds me of my friend Mallory loves cats, although she's been having a lot of trouble with her boyfriend lately, but i just couldn't deal with her bitching about it. Maybe it was because i didn't eat a good breakfast this morning. All i had was this crummy piece of toast and--

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I don't want to hear it!! What makes you think I want to listen to your senseless ramblings?! Are you trying to entertain me!?? No! you just want to fucking vent. And hey, this guy seems nice enough. He doesn' t shun me when i say hello, therefore I'll just tell my life story each time I see him! Yeah, that'll work! WHAT THE FUCK! We all have problems; only people with class have the ability to deal with them themselves. These other spineless people are too feeble-minded to confront things so they think telling other people about them will make it all better. Well it does! ...temporarilly.

ok, I just walked away and watched a couple simpsons episodes. Now that i'm all cooled down, i believe i'll end.

Goodbye, house! Goodbye, mailbox! Goodbye, pile of broken wood!

Man I have to go to the bathroom.. I really have to go. But i don't want to get up.

Anyway, school is in one week. Can't wait. Although, it's gonna be really hard to top working in a deli all summer... on top of other things. Yep, a college student's life is a lot like the seasons: they're both very pretty.

Change is another, more minor, similarity. Every year we're wisked off to a world of indepence, academic stimulation, and anti-stimulation. ....yeah. And we all have a * time there. * = good, bad, fun, boring, whatever. Then, around May or so, we're plucked from this never-never land and brought back "home," where things are expected to continue where they left off. But wait! We just had this crazy nine-month-long trip! Now we're expected to come down to the old reality? There's a jolt. But in the end it just takes time to adjust... until the end of August when you have to do it all over again. Whatever, analyzing stuff gets old.

I think i'll just enjoy the ride ...and think of more great clichés.

It

Phish is this weekend! Except for the 8 hour drive i guess it's supposed to take, I'm pretty psyched. How are they going to pull off three sets each day? Amazingly, that's how. Camping's gonna be sweet as well... setting up a little shanty town with a generator, i'm told.. not too shabby.
Why they picked Limestone Maine, almost the northern most point of the US, I don't know. But
..It's gonna be sweet.

It's not just the kissing! A lot of it is waiting to kiss.

What is this Love stuff? What is this emotional attachment that comes from sexual activety? Why do these things go hand in hand? Why can't we treat people as objects..? Wait, we can't... Because they're people, and anyone who has any human compassion realizes that everyone has feelings and emotions.

And what's the difference between the social norm of sex and what's actually right and wrong? Fifty years ago, husbands and wives slept in separate beds, and now college students get it on with a different person each week. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but where do you draw the line? When is it fun, and when is it something more? Furthermore, how are we suppposed to know? There aren't any rules.

And what's the point of dating? Is it to find a mate and procreate (and rhyme), or is it to experience a wide variety of different people? Part of me says, why date? ...someone will just get hurt in the end. But a bigger part of me says, you won't know anything until you try. Now that may seem like the beginning of an infinite loop, but I figure the more you DO try, the more you know about other people, and more importantly, yourself.

But that brings me back to this emotional attachment. With the said mindset, you are back to treating people like objects. No matter how many people you get involved with, you end up having some kind of connection with them... Unless of course everyone's memory was simultaneously erased, but that won't happen ...yet. It is my thought that the intensity of the relationship has a direct impact on the lasting connection. The longer and more involved you get with the person, the longer it takes to get over it.

But this is all common knowledge... or should be. So I guess people should just have a good time, but still make sure of each other's expectations. Put in whatever you want to have taken out on you... In a good way.

Fast Times at Essex J

There are two ways (among others) to measure people:

• Intelligence
• Eccentricity

Thus creating four different categories of people:

• Incomplex and conventional
• Intelligent and conventional
• Incomplex and eccentric
• Intelligent and eccentric

...Creating a plane with 2 axes and four quadrants into which everyone falls.

I will now explain why I like/dislike each group.

I

The best of the four. These people have the ability to use their wits in weird ways, thus making for very interesting (and often hilarious) conversation. Because they are offbeat, they don't let their intelligence go to their heads. Therefore they are friendly and often humble, and when they do crazy things, there is usually a good reason behind it all.

II

These people, while they may provide a cheap thrill once or twice, usually become very annoying. Due to their lowbrow humor, their jokes are not funny and become far too frequent. They don't care what other people think about their stupidity, which usually leads to somone else getting hurt. In the end, their only notoriety willl come from getting injured or dying doing something stupid.

III

Quadrant three can be categorized as the nicest of the four. Being "Dumb" and "Dull" doesn't sound too appealing, but for who they are as people, they make out pretty well. "Dumb" should be replaced with "Enjoys the simple things in life," and "Dull" should be "Respectful." They usually get along very well with the other four and have the amazing ability to go at their own pace.

IV

Remember the people who always answered every question in class and were not satisfied with anything less than an A? They fall here. Conventional smart people are both egocentric and boring. No one wants to hear what they have to say, and when they do talk, it's in a very condescending tone.You've come into contact with each of these groups at least once in your life, whether you realize it or not. Hopefully now, you will realize it more.

Disclaimer: I probably don't know what I'm talking about.

Let's see what happens

Since I'm probably going to minor in english, it might be a good idea to do some writing this summer... Not that this will help improve my writing, but i thought I'd give it a try any way. On the other hand, trying is the first step towards failure. On the former hand, these ARE trying times... full of TRYals and TRYbulations... Ok I'm done.

This is not going to be a detailed log of my every action. After all, I do in fact have a Y chromosome... (Ba dum tss). No, this is just going to be my thoughts about things that come to mind. A quote comes to mind right now:

"I can't wait 'till I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff." - Fry (Futurama, one of the better shows out there).

I AM old enough, and I think it's high time I express my ways about stuff, whether you want to hear it or not. I don't care. Being the future junior I will be at unh, things in life are starting to have meaning. My actions and their consequences, my feelings and beliefs, my values mean so much more than they did in high school. Independence is a mixed blessing and creates much confusion. Maybe this will help me sort it out.

...and improve my spelling.