Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974.

Hmm, I wonder why I don't like new music nowadays... Is it because it sucks or have I "grown out of" pop music? Interesting... If Green Day had just emerged last month as today's hot, new band, would I listen to them? I would have to accept the fact that all the teenage hipsters would be into them, along with MTV giving their full support. But ten years ago, I would haved loved all of it. So the question is, do I have the power to look beyond a band's 'popness' and enjoy the sweet sweet music within? I really don't know. Then you have bands like Weezer and Reel Big Fish continually coming out with killer tunes. Does their longevity trump the fact that they're popular? Come to think of it, I haven't heard much of their music on the radio at all, recently. Come to think of it, I don't listen to the radio. But I know bands like Modest Mouse and Franz Ferdidand are big in an oxymoron-like, pop alternative way. How do I know that? Word of mouth. Is that the new radio? Do I ask too many questions. Come to think of it, Green Day has made a bit of a resurgence with American Idiot. But I still like them... and perhaps I will listen to said album. We'll see if I can download it.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

Yeah so remember that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer is doing some walk for charity and they give him that yellow ribbon to wear? Only.. he doesn't want to wear it. Sounds fair enough.... Basic human rights. Never have I empathized with him more.I am undoubtedly refering to the yellow, cleverly-named "livestrong" bracelets that people seem to be toting around here. Now I'm sorry if I offend people who wear them, but I feel the need to express my distaste. Whenever I see people with these things, they seem to radiate "I support the fight against cancer... do you?"
Yeah I support it, but I don't feel the need to wear a fucking bracelet to tell the whole world. I hate bracelets! So why do I feel a certain sense of guilt whenever I see them? Maybe because that's the emotion they're designed to create. Guilt people into supporting your cause by creating an accessory vibrantly visible to the public that proves that you indeed want to fight cancer. If you don't have one, you obviously have no compassion for human life.
Here's an idea: how bout you just donate the money and forget the bracelet all together. More money would be going to the cause instead of some rubber piece of shit. How bout it, Lance?

You know, the nazi's had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

...do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

Herbal this.. All natural that... vegetarian, vegan, organic... when is this bullshit going to end! I remain confident that it's yet another ploy to market gimmicky products to gullible people (and make a handsome profit while they're at it). Washing my hands in the bathroom was what just set me off. Whilst glancing at the peripherals of our sink I noticed my roommate's toothpaste: Crest Herbal White. oooOOooh HERBAL! I bet you find only find something like this in an Indian remedy shop in New Mexico. Unfortunately for the avid hippy, crest is not a mom-and-pop operation, and I doubt they care deeply about utilizing nature's herbal goodness to whiten teeth. But..... the box says "Herbal!" Who knows what mystical journey awaits your teeth.

It's all a big laugh. All this natural herbal stuff boils down to is another product that its key demographic goes organic bananas over. I'm of course talking of "hippies," ...if you want to call them that. Unless there's a war in Vietnam to protest at the moment, I believe the elusive hippy is extinct. I would be more sympathetic, however, if I witnessed them living in communes and not showering, along with the tried-and-true protest sign. But that is not the case. I'm convinced most of these 20-year-old free spirits are just into the fashion. "I really like those pants made out of patches, I think I'll join the hippy crowd." Most of them are pretty damn rich as well. Just look at Phish concerts. Somehow, these deadheads can follow Phish to the end of the earth, and still not need to work to pay for the tickets. Sounds like rich parents and trust funds to me.
How convenient.

Anyway, getting back to this all-natural nonsense... my roommate also owns that Teddy peanut-butter, the stuff with no preservatives and is only made from peanuts... Yeah it sounds orgasmic, but in this work-a-day world it tastes awful. I bet she had fun paying like 8 bucks for it too. Peanut Butter to me is a staple of American life, and my childhood. I'll be damned if she mocks it. Give me Jif and Skippy with all the necessary fats and chemicals to create the epitome of a great sandwich.

Here's another thing. I really get annoyed with the picky eaters out there. I'm talking about those who eat fruits just recently discovered and buy the off-color, more expensive brand of mac and cheese... those who don't like pizza, and always have to spend a great deal of time preparing their meals down to every last picky detail. These are the bluenoses who hold their head high above your everyday frozen dinners.

And to be frank, it all just makes me sick. There are people dying of starvation! They'd be happy to eat the American dirt you walk on, much less the roasted pheasant you had last night. I'm thankful for any kind of sustenance that comes my way. And all the herbs of the world couldn't change that.

I'm not sure the meaning of my last sentence.

First thing tommorrow morning I'm going to punch Lenny in the back of the head.

Sometimes I just don't know about people. What they consider to be friendly can easily be constrewed as being a jackass. Friendly jokes and insults may be innocent enough, but often that line is crossed leaving the receiving party hurt and bewildered. Maybe the fact that these people have unsually loud voices lets them get away with anything. Or maybe it's the fact that they're quite husky and are not easily intimidated. But more accurately, I believe their behavior is just a result of who they are and their past. I can say these things in confidence because I hold a lot of credentials in psychology. Anyway, after the heckling and tomfoolery, the farewell is handshakes and smiles. What's a naive person to do? Sometimes you just can't tell.

Boy cries wolf, has a few laughs... I forget how it ends.

Aw man, I'm always forgetting things. I leave my cell-phone in a car heading hundreds of miles west, I leave my backpack (with wallet) in this guy's car. And I leave blasted Simpsons Trivia at a friends house back home. What's my deal? I need to stop spacing out! Everything's just a daydream to me. Important situations are either forgotten or needlessly worried about. Important possesions are treated with baffling indifference. Right now, I notice numerous cds floating around my room separted from their cases. Clothes are wrapping around my room like ivy. A plate, juice boxes, beer bottles, and hot-pocket cases are just sitting around. The worst part: I'm not going to do much about any of this. I notice it and I acknowledge it, but come time to fix my absent-minded ways, I do absolutely nothing. Oh well. The rant is over. -End communication.

The artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as prince.

Wellity Wellity Wellity, fashion is evolving yet again, except instead of moving forward, we seem to have hit the peak of the hill and are falling back from wence we came. I am of course talking about reverting back to the great fashion era of the 80s.
I see people (mainly girls) all over UNH now with their ripped clothing, collars turned up, and shoulders exposed. I guess this is it. It's inevitable. But this time I really don't want to be sucked into this ever-changing clique of MTV followers.

Fashion is just lazy, nowadays. Why can't there be totally new styles? Why do we have to plagarize other decades. We went through it once, and thats enough. Furthermore, why are we going back to the crappy 80s. Everyone was freakishly ugly. That whole decade was fueled by money, power, and greed. And cocaine... lots of cocain. Nothing worthwhile happened either. Reagan sucked, AIDs became prevalent, and music was computerized and had reverb. Terrible.

The young, hip crowd is just nostalgic. That's all this "revival" is. If we're going back in time, why can't we go to a good decade, like the 60s.

Girls were wicked hot back then.

Or perhaps the 20s...

Yes, I'd like to see an everyday flapper come walkin' by. I'd whistle.

Ooh he card reads good!

Wow, what's the deal? People just love downloading fantastic files from me using dc++. I can't really blame them, but it seems excessive.
This leads me to the topic of the word "deal" and why I use it? Welp, "deal" is a virus thats attaches itself to my vocabulary and won't let go. I suppose I could run a virus scan (read a book) but I don't have time for that. Worms won't play itself. But seriously, "deal" can blanket all other nouns and render them useless in my brain.

Examples:
"Man, what's that deal on your leg?"
"Let's go to the deal after we eat."
"How bout we go put that deal onto the other deal."

"Dealie" can also be used, but this one is a little better. I use more specific words before to help qualify.
"Hey, maybe we could use that guitar dealie" (capo)

Sometimes I use the correct noun but decide to add it anyway:
"Pass me that bottle opener dealie."

Either one taken into account, I can't assess this situation lightly. I have to blame something, and blame I shall. This scapegoat is an unfortunate, yet obvious one: The Simpsons.

Anyway, I have to go do actual work now.

They took err jerrbs!

Man, south park was great tonight. True form indeed. The political commentary on today's episodes astounds me with its creativity.... or should that be "the creativity on today's episodes astounds me with its political commentary. Infer what I mean!
Anyway, the concept of aliens traveling back in time to the present only to find work is ingenius... coming from an overpopulated land, working for much less than americans... It's a great parallel. Classic South Park.

...but if we change the constitution. --we can make all sorts of crazy laws!

Here's something:

Is the basis of our American government contradictory? So in the beginning we drew up a constitution upon which all our laws today are based. But we're living in a democracy, in which majority rules. The majority of the American people elect our president (well not really, thank you electoral college), the majority of each state elects a governor. But not always can the majority pass a law.

For all intents and purposes, we'll say that the senate and house of representatives are the american people. Ideally thats what they represent anyway. So say the majority of America gets really excited about a bill and wants to inact it (passes with both houses). The president also signs it. The bill, however, turns out to be unconstitutional. So by the fundamental rules of our governent, it cannot be made into a law. But most of America wants this law! So what's the deal? Are we really a democracy?

Example: What if 72% of the US wants to pass a law banning demonstrations or marches by the KKK or any other hate group. That law would definately be unconstitutional..........

WAIT, hold on, I'm remembering something! Our government can change the constitution by amending it, and I'm pretty sure ratifying an amendment is a democratic process. So once it's changed, you could pass a law based on those changes! It all makes sense!

.....Thank you, Simpsons/Schoolhouse rock.

I'm losing my Perspicacity!!

It's been about two weeks since simpsons have been gone... thats why I sing this sad sad song.
Anyway, I want to transcribe a certain journal entry I made back in the fall for my creative non-fiction class. It's very apt for my current situation....

Well, the journals have a due-date, and I have nowhere close to 30 pages. In fact, I have about an eighth of a page.

I don't know why I do this. I have no sense of time or organization. No matter how much time I have to complete an assignment, I won't start it until I'm reminded of the due-date. This usually means I scramble to get it done at the last minute, and cause myself emormous amounts of stress. But the work gets done. Somehow I'll always have something to turn in, be it a lab report or a five-page paper.

The problem turns out to be that I get very little sleep, and end up with a shoddy result... one that has potential to be much better had I allowed a proper amount of time to finish it.

However, part of me likes it this way: Mainly the lazy part. Also, I work well under pressure. I know that's contradictory, but sometimes I'm pleased with the quality of my work given the little time I had. This makes me wonder (and worry): Am I subconciously making a game out of something I should be taking much more seriously? Do I try to top myself each time by seeing how long I can wait before I start? Sometimes I think I do.

And the worst part is that I have the power to do this! The fact that I keep getting away with inconceivable laziness is not a warning flag for me to get my act together. Sometimes, when working under a crunch situation, I want myself to fail. I really want to be taught a lesson, and for that to happen, something has to blow up in my face.

Perhaps this journal entry thing is just the poison I need to create my antidote of effort! ...probably not.

Well, back to work.

Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long!

I believe the true path to happiness is honesty... mainly to one's self. I believe that it's just its basic form. There may be derivatives of this, but honesty is definitely the skeleton supporting the body of happiness.

Most people aren't 100% honest with themselves and thus have not reached their total potential of happiness. Each lie that we propagate upon ourselves creates a whole new layer of deception. The happiest people have the fewest layers. The number and thickness of each layer is dependant on one's outside contact with the universe -- a stimulus.

The facade one is creating reaches different people in different ways. One's bestest chum in the world may have access to the bare-boned truth not privy to most... while a bank teller or some girl at a party is stonewalled by several highly insulated walls of trickery. These walls filter the truth when information is exchanged. For instance, when Billy asks Jimmy if he likes Ace of Base, Jimmy already contains a ready-made "yes" in his brain. However to avoid looking like a hipster doofus, Jimmy purports to Billy that no, Ace of Base is poly-woly crappy. This initial yes (the truth) has been caught in a net of dishonesty (filter).

The result of this filter and its overuse leads to stress and an overall loss of wit and timing. For each layer one has, it creates a whole new barrier where the truth is sifted out by motives that contradict being true to oneself. Society usually plays a role in these motives, and is one of the main obstacles that stands in the way of true personal happiness.

Do I know what rhetorical means?!?

Here are some questions worth asking...

• Since banks have such stingy hours (9 - 4 weekdays or something), and many people have a 9 - 5 job, how do they find time to go? Especially before the electronic age...
• What will happen when cemeteries take over the world? I think we should start flinging corpses out into space.
• If roses smells so good, why aren't we eating them?
• Is the idea "The only reason Beethoven and friends' music was so great, was that all the good tunes were yet to be taken" ridiculous?
• What's the deal with cyclic fashion, 80s-girls?

Yeah i mean it looks good and all, but whats the story? How did you know to wear that shoulder-exposing sweater? If those mysteries are solved, I'll be happy ...until i discover new mysteries.

I put the 'U' in imprUvment.

It's January: A time of resolutions ...usually. And it gets me thinking about life changes that I've always pondered but never acted upon. I'm referring to the old, "workout more, eat healthier, study more in school" argument. All of which I could stand to do, but never buckle down and really change things. I believe there are 2 reasons for my indolence:

1. No motivation. My life isn't in any depths of despair, so why would I need to change anything? Sure I'm not a well-toned athletic machine, sufficient fiber eater, or deans-list honor type guy. But I'm content with the way things are. Not fully content, but obviously not fed up enough to change anything.
   
2. Once in a while the motivation will be there, but I just won't follow through. I'll get all psyched up about doing things a new way and maybe even keep it up for a couple days. Then the years of a media-induced ADD will start to catch up with me. I'm convinced that the numerous and readily available types of stimulation that have surrounded me throughout most of my life have had a direct impact on my attention span. The ability to talk to people online while watching a Simpsons ep on my computer, and then to walk outside while listening to music, has just raised the threshold of stimulation I can endure. Basically, I've built up a tolerance. Therefore, I believe I have a conditioned short attention span, or "learned ADD," a phrase I hope to coin when I become famous. So, what was I talking about again?

So pretty much, I lose interest in this new self-improvement fad, and it dies out.Yeah so that's my story. Will I ever turn a new leaf, you ask? Haha. Never.