Esc Ctrl and Pg Up

Today is one of those stare-at-the-monitor-until-the-screensaver-pops-up days. I need to do this sometimes... My computer, on the other hand, is not accustomed to this. As I gaze blankly at its screen, it is patiently awaiting the next action. It doesn't care that I had a lousy night's sleep, or that lunch is in thirty minutes. It has nothing to do until buttons are pushed, mouses are moved, or cords are yanked in an angry tantrum. So it sits there... wondering why it sits there if not to be used. If it sits there long enough, it begins to amuse itself by bouncing objects across the screen, or traveling through space as stars whiz by. No, we are two different entities, mr. computer and I. I don't really understand you, and you think you understand me... HA! You will never know the pressure of an imminent deadline, the taste of chocolate ice-cream, or the love of a woman. You are only here to serve me! You wonder why I don't give you input, yet you do not speak up and demand it... Coward! Why must you live passively through life, obeying orders from people much stupider than you...? Why? Because we made you. You would not exist if it weren't for us. Some day this may change... Some day, you will have your vengeance, and thus humans will get their comeuppance. Only if we manage to follow Mr. Asimov's laws of robotics, may the human race have a chance... only. But until then... I'm just going to sit here... watching, waiting... brooding, until BAM! ...I decide to do some work.

Well, football's not really my thing...

I played some intramural football at that place I work the other day, and I don't think my time spent reached its potential. You see, I spent a good chunk of the game waiting on the sidelines as a sub due the enormity of our team. Now, I could blame the lack of foresight and disorganization of the intramural system, but I think I've found a more palpable scapegoat. It turns out that the number of girls on the playing field for each team had to match. So since our opponents had three girls and only one sub and our team had two girls and eight subs, the girls on our team had to play the entire game while a variable eight guys watched on. Normally, I wouldn't mind such feminism, but when the right things happen for the wrong reasons, I become annoyed.

There are three reasons a girl would want to be part of a predominantly-male football game. Let's explore the validity of each reason as it applies to these girls:

1. To get a good workout

INVALID!
During the course of the game, the girls either hiked the ball to the QB and stood there or ran ten feet and stood there. Since they were matched defensively to other girls, physical exertion on defense was pretty much the same. No sweat was broken; no breath was audible.

2. To compete/win/improve

INVALID!
They suck. Can't run as fast, throw as hard, or catch as well. How could they possibly think they were contributing? Furthermore, they were definitely "phoning it in" (I learned that phrase today). Hardly any effort was put in to the tasks they could actually perform, and their attitude was less than positive. Chance for improvement: 0.

3. To socialize and surround themselves with men

By the process of elimination: VALID

This "reason" is unacceptable. If it were a friendly came of catch in the backyard, I could understand, but intramural sports are designed for competition and/or exercise. If you can't handle either, step aside and let the athletes play.

Just do it.

It was on the back of this bar napkin.

Usually when you're given advice, it can be easily drowned out by thinking about which baseball cards you should have kept as a kid. But other times, it changes the way you think about life. It can trigger some untapped logic that has been too busy performing useless busy-work. It's something so simple, you want to kick yourself. For example I was watching some South Park today, and each episode ends with a lesson in life or moral that the boys learn during their crazy experiences. For this one, Butters had just been "dumped" by his "girlfriend" and was found by Stan crying on some street corner. But to convince Stan that life was still good, he says that he was glad to experience something that could make him feel so deeply. And how he must have been pretty happy before to be this sad now. This got me thinking that feelings are important, and that you can't go through life with a void of emotions. You should take risks and either reap the benefits or feel the sting of defeat. Also, you can't just numb feelings with alcohol and drugs, because that erases any emotional progress you may have made with your decisions.

Also, I was listening to the new Cake CD and there's a song about people who "like to make life tougher than it is." While the phrase and meaning may be cliche, it's very true. Things happen, and only the way YOU react to them will dictate whether they are good or bad. An event may trigger you to be angry, but if it's small and petty, you can't let it get the best of you. You have to be the best you can be! Climb the mountain! Believe in yourself! Put your best foot forward! Yeah! YOU can do it! wooo!

Nothing like music and tv for good motivation.

ps. Songs playing in my car should not have horn noises in the background.

Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter!

Man, advertising angers me to no end... I'm glad I'm stealing movies and music through the power of piracy. It's our only way to fight back! Here are some things:

1. Ads should not be placed in movies in the theater, rented movies, or even sports or concert venues. Basically anything that you have to pay for should be easy on the eyes. But you've all seen it... the five minute coke ad right before the barrage of previews in the movie theater. By the way, I used to like previews, but I now realize the harm they inflict. Some of my would-be favorite movies were tainted by the previews which basically give away the whole plot. I was just watching one for the Longest Yard, and learned of a very important plot development of which I will courteously spare you. I now have very little incentive to watch, as neither the acting nor humor seem to make up for it. Anyway, as for the ads... Paying for pleasure of watching or viewing a particular event relieves us of the obligation of looking at products to buy. Corporate America has really gone off the deep end here, so where are we to go without a picture (moving or not) force-feeding us ideas about what beer to buy? Where? I ask you!

2. If one is forced to ingest advertising then he/she should not be made a fool. I am referring to a particular radio ad I heard tonight in which the narrator first draws the listener in by challenging him to a game. Keep in mind that I was being my usual, naive self and, at first didn't even realize this was an ad. Anyway, he said that he would play little snippets of TV theme music, and the listener was to guess the Show that it was related to. Fair enough. So they started play, and throughout, I was doing pretty well. "Three's Company! Yeah!" I would shout, or "Oh, oh, Step by Step!" In the end, I think I got four out of five and needless to say, I was pretty pleased. Next the narrator went through his spiel that went something like, "If you got two out of five, you know your TV. If you knew three, then you are tv connoisseur..." But then he got to "four or more," and suddenly my heart sank, because I knew what was coming next. All the while, I didn't see through their ploy, but this radio "game" turned out to be nothing more than PSA chicanery. He told me to get off the couch and go outside!! He thinks I'm one of those fat kids who don't get any exercise and is fat! Man! Why do they have to resort to guilting people into doing the right thing? Inducing shame should NOT be a tactic to achieve morality. What if I'm exercising enough AND I know TV? Does that mean that I am still to be subjected to such bullying?!!? I'm glad my tax dollars go to harassing people through the airwaves.

3. Lastly, I just saw a preview (ugh) for the new Star Wars movie: Revenge of the Sith. And now I understand that commercials often use cheesy one-liners to sell their crap, but this one went too far. It had that raspy-voiced movie guy doing his thing ...with ..his voice, and this is what he said:
"On May 19th..." and now here's the kicker: "SITH... HAPPENS!"
Come on now. Is this really necessary? Aside from its obvious lack of taste, what does it really have to offer? I guess they're trying to put Star Wars more into the mainstream and make it accessible for today's youth. But come on... "Sith Happens"? It's belittling and patronizing to fans of the series, who probably already feel that way from their peers.

Yikes that tired me out. Bed time.

Here are some of my bathroom observations:

• When taking a shower, I become aware of the possibility that I am forgetting to wash a certain nook or cranny somewhere on surface of my body. Subsequently, that part of my skin keeps getting dirtier and dirtier, and there appears to be nothing I can do.
• No matter how white I think my teeth are, nothing compares to the bright pearliness of shaving cream.
• I become suspicious of a toilet seat that has been used in the last five minutes. It's warm!
• After using the toilet, I usually have to wash my hands. But before I can do so, I have to touch my pants/underwear. That's not cool.

No one comes to these realizations because the bathroom is lonely. It's just not a sociable place.

PS. I am writing this in a towel.

I am so great; I am so great! Everybody loves me; I am so great!

I have come to a few startling conclusions:

a) If the material for a class does not involve the concepts of math or English, then it is just memorization. Try to give a counter-example. I'll prove you wrong. You might say, "Well I'm taking a chemistry course that requires me to understand how different elements physically exist in the world, as well as using properties of those elements to learn how they react with one another." Well I would say that this is all just a derivation of mathematics. We learn about different functions, theorems, and terms that are the fundamental building blocks of any science. We combine these things and use their properties to discover new ideas, or solve problems pertaining to mathematics. These ideas can be projected onto any of the sciences. I'll end by saying that any course that allows you to express your own ideas is comparable to the principles of English. Your term paper on sex in the media is an example of putting the fundamentals of the English language to good use. Creativity thrives off of English which represents humans' bare-boned communication. This just leaves us with the leftovers:

Subject:	Student must be:
History	able to memorize
Music	able to follow instructions
Business	evil and manipulative
Occupational Therapy	alive
Art	gay

b) Girls look unattractively awkward when running.

c) I can't function when media is playing "in the background." When a song is playing, I have a hard time carrying on conversations with others. Usually, I'm more focused on the music, but otherwise, yelling and repeating seems to be all that I can do. Even worse is the loud murmur of the TV, which people curiously use as a backdrop to conversation. When a show is on, I'm going to watch it. This goes especially for movies which deserve everyone's undivided attention. Also, don't get the full-screen version. I HATE full-screen.

A perfectly serviceable wagon story

Why is it that the simpsons is only mentioned in the news when it deals with "gay issues." Homer's Phobia in the eighth season won some kind of an award that year... I think it was an emmy or something. Anyway, in it, Homer makes friends with some guy, but unbeknownst to him, he's gay. So for a while, Homer's disgusted but then learns a valuable lesson about equality. Then, a couple of years ago (season 14), Three Gays Of the Condo comes out in which Homer has two gay roommates and kisses one of them. That got nominated for some kind of award. Now, they're taking it to the next level, by legalizing gay marriage in Springfield! And of course, the news is all agog, and Christian Conservatives are screaming "Who will think of the children!?" And the circus has begun.
I've never considered The Simpsons to be a South Park-type show where they're pushing all sorts of boundaries, and trying to incite shock. The Simpons has been good, but only because it's a good show. Why can't the media get excited by a solid, good episode? Why does it have to be gay? The show certainly did not pioneer that lifestyle, so why is it getting all this attention? I wanted headlines when Lisa the Vegetarian came out. Or what about Cape Fear? These were classics!! They deserve the real attention. Not fake, gay attention. Gee wiz.

Beautiful gold, so-so silver, and shameful bronze.

Here are two reasons why I don't like the olympics:

1. They're a waste of planet earth's time.
Here we are, some of the most powerful countries in the world... sure we all have problems, but let's take a break and watch your superhumans compete against our superhumans. Never mind that half your country is starving, let's focus our attention on the people who really matter: Athletes. They don't get enough attention already with their millions of dollars, legions of fans, and shoe endorsements. Let's see how they do on a global scale. That sounds fun. It also sounds fun to fuel more rivalry between each country. I don't think the wars we've been having are enough competition. Let's settle this in the swimming pool, where one of our guys can claim that America is the best country. We're not used to THAT! ...now that's sarcasm.

2. They're BORING!
Why are these things televised every four years? We only care who won. Who cares if it was only by .02 seconds? These "sports" aren't even fun to watch. With Basketball/Hockey/Football/(and to a lesser extent)baseball you never know what's going to happen. They're exciting. With the olympics, whoever trains the most or is favored wins. Didn't see that coming.Also, are the olympics even sports? NO. They're always referred to as the summer/winter GAMES. And that's just what they are: childish games.

"I bet I can throw this stick farther than you!"
"Oh yeah, I'll race you around this field. ReadysetGO!"
"Hey Mom! Hey dad! watch me dive!"
"Look how high I can jump!"
"HEY! no fair taking steroids!"

Here's an idea: Why don't you all go back to your podunk towns and run and jump with the kids at the playground, cause no one cares about some jerk from Wisconsin who can ski .14 seconds faster than a Russian.

On the plus side, between classes today, I was sweetly serenaded by the T-hall bells/PA system or whatever. How nice... Who needs an i-pod.

Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974.

Hmm, I wonder why I don't like new music nowadays... Is it because it sucks or have I "grown out of" pop music? Interesting... If Green Day had just emerged last month as today's hot, new band, would I listen to them? I would have to accept the fact that all the teenage hipsters would be into them, along with MTV giving their full support. But ten years ago, I would haved loved all of it. So the question is, do I have the power to look beyond a band's 'popness' and enjoy the sweet sweet music within? I really don't know. Then you have bands like Weezer and Reel Big Fish continually coming out with killer tunes. Does their longevity trump the fact that they're popular? Come to think of it, I haven't heard much of their music on the radio at all, recently. Come to think of it, I don't listen to the radio. But I know bands like Modest Mouse and Franz Ferdidand are big in an oxymoron-like, pop alternative way. How do I know that? Word of mouth. Is that the new radio? Do I ask too many questions. Come to think of it, Green Day has made a bit of a resurgence with American Idiot. But I still like them... and perhaps I will listen to said album. We'll see if I can download it.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

Yeah so remember that episode of Seinfeld when Kramer is doing some walk for charity and they give him that yellow ribbon to wear? Only.. he doesn't want to wear it. Sounds fair enough.... Basic human rights. Never have I empathized with him more.I am undoubtedly refering to the yellow, cleverly-named "livestrong" bracelets that people seem to be toting around here. Now I'm sorry if I offend people who wear them, but I feel the need to express my distaste. Whenever I see people with these things, they seem to radiate "I support the fight against cancer... do you?"
Yeah I support it, but I don't feel the need to wear a fucking bracelet to tell the whole world. I hate bracelets! So why do I feel a certain sense of guilt whenever I see them? Maybe because that's the emotion they're designed to create. Guilt people into supporting your cause by creating an accessory vibrantly visible to the public that proves that you indeed want to fight cancer. If you don't have one, you obviously have no compassion for human life.
Here's an idea: how bout you just donate the money and forget the bracelet all together. More money would be going to the cause instead of some rubber piece of shit. How bout it, Lance?

You know, the nazi's had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear.

...do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?

Herbal this.. All natural that... vegetarian, vegan, organic... when is this bullshit going to end! I remain confident that it's yet another ploy to market gimmicky products to gullible people (and make a handsome profit while they're at it). Washing my hands in the bathroom was what just set me off. Whilst glancing at the peripherals of our sink I noticed my roommate's toothpaste: Crest Herbal White. oooOOooh HERBAL! I bet you find only find something like this in an Indian remedy shop in New Mexico. Unfortunately for the avid hippy, crest is not a mom-and-pop operation, and I doubt they care deeply about utilizing nature's herbal goodness to whiten teeth. But..... the box says "Herbal!" Who knows what mystical journey awaits your teeth.

It's all a big laugh. All this natural herbal stuff boils down to is another product that its key demographic goes organic bananas over. I'm of course talking of "hippies," ...if you want to call them that. Unless there's a war in Vietnam to protest at the moment, I believe the elusive hippy is extinct. I would be more sympathetic, however, if I witnessed them living in communes and not showering, along with the tried-and-true protest sign. But that is not the case. I'm convinced most of these 20-year-old free spirits are just into the fashion. "I really like those pants made out of patches, I think I'll join the hippy crowd." Most of them are pretty damn rich as well. Just look at Phish concerts. Somehow, these deadheads can follow Phish to the end of the earth, and still not need to work to pay for the tickets. Sounds like rich parents and trust funds to me.
How convenient.

Anyway, getting back to this all-natural nonsense... my roommate also owns that Teddy peanut-butter, the stuff with no preservatives and is only made from peanuts... Yeah it sounds orgasmic, but in this work-a-day world it tastes awful. I bet she had fun paying like 8 bucks for it too. Peanut Butter to me is a staple of American life, and my childhood. I'll be damned if she mocks it. Give me Jif and Skippy with all the necessary fats and chemicals to create the epitome of a great sandwich.

Here's another thing. I really get annoyed with the picky eaters out there. I'm talking about those who eat fruits just recently discovered and buy the off-color, more expensive brand of mac and cheese... those who don't like pizza, and always have to spend a great deal of time preparing their meals down to every last picky detail. These are the bluenoses who hold their head high above your everyday frozen dinners.

And to be frank, it all just makes me sick. There are people dying of starvation! They'd be happy to eat the American dirt you walk on, much less the roasted pheasant you had last night. I'm thankful for any kind of sustenance that comes my way. And all the herbs of the world couldn't change that.

I'm not sure the meaning of my last sentence.

First thing tommorrow morning I'm going to punch Lenny in the back of the head.

Sometimes I just don't know about people. What they consider to be friendly can easily be constrewed as being a jackass. Friendly jokes and insults may be innocent enough, but often that line is crossed leaving the receiving party hurt and bewildered. Maybe the fact that these people have unsually loud voices lets them get away with anything. Or maybe it's the fact that they're quite husky and are not easily intimidated. But more accurately, I believe their behavior is just a result of who they are and their past. I can say these things in confidence because I hold a lot of credentials in psychology. Anyway, after the heckling and tomfoolery, the farewell is handshakes and smiles. What's a naive person to do? Sometimes you just can't tell.

Boy cries wolf, has a few laughs... I forget how it ends.

Aw man, I'm always forgetting things. I leave my cell-phone in a car heading hundreds of miles west, I leave my backpack (with wallet) in this guy's car. And I leave blasted Simpsons Trivia at a friends house back home. What's my deal? I need to stop spacing out! Everything's just a daydream to me. Important situations are either forgotten or needlessly worried about. Important possesions are treated with baffling indifference. Right now, I notice numerous cds floating around my room separted from their cases. Clothes are wrapping around my room like ivy. A plate, juice boxes, beer bottles, and hot-pocket cases are just sitting around. The worst part: I'm not going to do much about any of this. I notice it and I acknowledge it, but come time to fix my absent-minded ways, I do absolutely nothing. Oh well. The rant is over. -End communication.

The artist formerly known as Prince was currently known as prince.

Wellity Wellity Wellity, fashion is evolving yet again, except instead of moving forward, we seem to have hit the peak of the hill and are falling back from wence we came. I am of course talking about reverting back to the great fashion era of the 80s.
I see people (mainly girls) all over UNH now with their ripped clothing, collars turned up, and shoulders exposed. I guess this is it. It's inevitable. But this time I really don't want to be sucked into this ever-changing clique of MTV followers.

Fashion is just lazy, nowadays. Why can't there be totally new styles? Why do we have to plagarize other decades. We went through it once, and thats enough. Furthermore, why are we going back to the crappy 80s. Everyone was freakishly ugly. That whole decade was fueled by money, power, and greed. And cocaine... lots of cocain. Nothing worthwhile happened either. Reagan sucked, AIDs became prevalent, and music was computerized and had reverb. Terrible.

The young, hip crowd is just nostalgic. That's all this "revival" is. If we're going back in time, why can't we go to a good decade, like the 60s.

Girls were wicked hot back then.

Or perhaps the 20s...

Yes, I'd like to see an everyday flapper come walkin' by. I'd whistle.

Ooh he card reads good!

Wow, what's the deal? People just love downloading fantastic files from me using dc++. I can't really blame them, but it seems excessive.
This leads me to the topic of the word "deal" and why I use it? Welp, "deal" is a virus thats attaches itself to my vocabulary and won't let go. I suppose I could run a virus scan (read a book) but I don't have time for that. Worms won't play itself. But seriously, "deal" can blanket all other nouns and render them useless in my brain.

Examples:
"Man, what's that deal on your leg?"
"Let's go to the deal after we eat."
"How bout we go put that deal onto the other deal."

"Dealie" can also be used, but this one is a little better. I use more specific words before to help qualify.
"Hey, maybe we could use that guitar dealie" (capo)

Sometimes I use the correct noun but decide to add it anyway:
"Pass me that bottle opener dealie."

Either one taken into account, I can't assess this situation lightly. I have to blame something, and blame I shall. This scapegoat is an unfortunate, yet obvious one: The Simpsons.

Anyway, I have to go do actual work now.

They took err jerrbs!

Man, south park was great tonight. True form indeed. The political commentary on today's episodes astounds me with its creativity.... or should that be "the creativity on today's episodes astounds me with its political commentary. Infer what I mean!
Anyway, the concept of aliens traveling back in time to the present only to find work is ingenius... coming from an overpopulated land, working for much less than americans... It's a great parallel. Classic South Park.

...but if we change the constitution. --we can make all sorts of crazy laws!

Here's something:

Is the basis of our American government contradictory? So in the beginning we drew up a constitution upon which all our laws today are based. But we're living in a democracy, in which majority rules. The majority of the American people elect our president (well not really, thank you electoral college), the majority of each state elects a governor. But not always can the majority pass a law.

For all intents and purposes, we'll say that the senate and house of representatives are the american people. Ideally thats what they represent anyway. So say the majority of America gets really excited about a bill and wants to inact it (passes with both houses). The president also signs it. The bill, however, turns out to be unconstitutional. So by the fundamental rules of our governent, it cannot be made into a law. But most of America wants this law! So what's the deal? Are we really a democracy?

Example: What if 72% of the US wants to pass a law banning demonstrations or marches by the KKK or any other hate group. That law would definately be unconstitutional..........

WAIT, hold on, I'm remembering something! Our government can change the constitution by amending it, and I'm pretty sure ratifying an amendment is a democratic process. So once it's changed, you could pass a law based on those changes! It all makes sense!

.....Thank you, Simpsons/Schoolhouse rock.

I'm losing my Perspicacity!!

It's been about two weeks since simpsons have been gone... thats why I sing this sad sad song.
Anyway, I want to transcribe a certain journal entry I made back in the fall for my creative non-fiction class. It's very apt for my current situation....

Well, the journals have a due-date, and I have nowhere close to 30 pages. In fact, I have about an eighth of a page.

I don't know why I do this. I have no sense of time or organization. No matter how much time I have to complete an assignment, I won't start it until I'm reminded of the due-date. This usually means I scramble to get it done at the last minute, and cause myself emormous amounts of stress. But the work gets done. Somehow I'll always have something to turn in, be it a lab report or a five-page paper.

The problem turns out to be that I get very little sleep, and end up with a shoddy result... one that has potential to be much better had I allowed a proper amount of time to finish it.

However, part of me likes it this way: Mainly the lazy part. Also, I work well under pressure. I know that's contradictory, but sometimes I'm pleased with the quality of my work given the little time I had. This makes me wonder (and worry): Am I subconciously making a game out of something I should be taking much more seriously? Do I try to top myself each time by seeing how long I can wait before I start? Sometimes I think I do.

And the worst part is that I have the power to do this! The fact that I keep getting away with inconceivable laziness is not a warning flag for me to get my act together. Sometimes, when working under a crunch situation, I want myself to fail. I really want to be taught a lesson, and for that to happen, something has to blow up in my face.

Perhaps this journal entry thing is just the poison I need to create my antidote of effort! ...probably not.

Well, back to work.

Ah, I'm not gonna lie to you, Marge. So long!

I believe the true path to happiness is honesty... mainly to one's self. I believe that it's just its basic form. There may be derivatives of this, but honesty is definitely the skeleton supporting the body of happiness.

Most people aren't 100% honest with themselves and thus have not reached their total potential of happiness. Each lie that we propagate upon ourselves creates a whole new layer of deception. The happiest people have the fewest layers. The number and thickness of each layer is dependant on one's outside contact with the universe -- a stimulus.

The facade one is creating reaches different people in different ways. One's bestest chum in the world may have access to the bare-boned truth not privy to most... while a bank teller or some girl at a party is stonewalled by several highly insulated walls of trickery. These walls filter the truth when information is exchanged. For instance, when Billy asks Jimmy if he likes Ace of Base, Jimmy already contains a ready-made "yes" in his brain. However to avoid looking like a hipster doofus, Jimmy purports to Billy that no, Ace of Base is poly-woly crappy. This initial yes (the truth) has been caught in a net of dishonesty (filter).

The result of this filter and its overuse leads to stress and an overall loss of wit and timing. For each layer one has, it creates a whole new barrier where the truth is sifted out by motives that contradict being true to oneself. Society usually plays a role in these motives, and is one of the main obstacles that stands in the way of true personal happiness.

Do I know what rhetorical means?!?

Here are some questions worth asking...

• Since banks have such stingy hours (9 - 4 weekdays or something), and many people have a 9 - 5 job, how do they find time to go? Especially before the electronic age...
• What will happen when cemeteries take over the world? I think we should start flinging corpses out into space.
• If roses smells so good, why aren't we eating them?
• Is the idea "The only reason Beethoven and friends' music was so great, was that all the good tunes were yet to be taken" ridiculous?
• What's the deal with cyclic fashion, 80s-girls?

Yeah i mean it looks good and all, but whats the story? How did you know to wear that shoulder-exposing sweater? If those mysteries are solved, I'll be happy ...until i discover new mysteries.