Oh Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter!

Man, advertising angers me to no end... I'm glad I'm stealing movies and music through the power of piracy. It's our only way to fight back! Here are some things:

1. Ads should not be placed in movies in the theater, rented movies, or even sports or concert venues. Basically anything that you have to pay for should be easy on the eyes. But you've all seen it... the five minute coke ad right before the barrage of previews in the movie theater. By the way, I used to like previews, but I now realize the harm they inflict. Some of my would-be favorite movies were tainted by the previews which basically give away the whole plot. I was just watching one for the Longest Yard, and learned of a very important plot development of which I will courteously spare you. I now have very little incentive to watch, as neither the acting nor humor seem to make up for it. Anyway, as for the ads... Paying for pleasure of watching or viewing a particular event relieves us of the obligation of looking at products to buy. Corporate America has really gone off the deep end here, so where are we to go without a picture (moving or not) force-feeding us ideas about what beer to buy? Where? I ask you!

2. If one is forced to ingest advertising then he/she should not be made a fool. I am referring to a particular radio ad I heard tonight in which the narrator first draws the listener in by challenging him to a game. Keep in mind that I was being my usual, naive self and, at first didn't even realize this was an ad. Anyway, he said that he would play little snippets of TV theme music, and the listener was to guess the Show that it was related to. Fair enough. So they started play, and throughout, I was doing pretty well. "Three's Company! Yeah!" I would shout, or "Oh, oh, Step by Step!" In the end, I think I got four out of five and needless to say, I was pretty pleased. Next the narrator went through his spiel that went something like, "If you got two out of five, you know your TV. If you knew three, then you are tv connoisseur..." But then he got to "four or more," and suddenly my heart sank, because I knew what was coming next. All the while, I didn't see through their ploy, but this radio "game" turned out to be nothing more than PSA chicanery. He told me to get off the couch and go outside!! He thinks I'm one of those fat kids who don't get any exercise and is fat! Man! Why do they have to resort to guilting people into doing the right thing? Inducing shame should NOT be a tactic to achieve morality. What if I'm exercising enough AND I know TV? Does that mean that I am still to be subjected to such bullying?!!? I'm glad my tax dollars go to harassing people through the airwaves.

3. Lastly, I just saw a preview (ugh) for the new Star Wars movie: Revenge of the Sith. And now I understand that commercials often use cheesy one-liners to sell their crap, but this one went too far. It had that raspy-voiced movie guy doing his thing ...with ..his voice, and this is what he said:
"On May 19th..." and now here's the kicker: "SITH... HAPPENS!"
Come on now. Is this really necessary? Aside from its obvious lack of taste, what does it really have to offer? I guess they're trying to put Star Wars more into the mainstream and make it accessible for today's youth. But come on... "Sith Happens"? It's belittling and patronizing to fans of the series, who probably already feel that way from their peers.

Yikes that tired me out. Bed time.