Well, football's not really my thing...

I played some intramural football at that place I work the other day, and I don't think my time spent reached its potential. You see, I spent a good chunk of the game waiting on the sidelines as a sub due the enormity of our team. Now, I could blame the lack of foresight and disorganization of the intramural system, but I think I've found a more palpable scapegoat. It turns out that the number of girls on the playing field for each team had to match. So since our opponents had three girls and only one sub and our team had two girls and eight subs, the girls on our team had to play the entire game while a variable eight guys watched on. Normally, I wouldn't mind such feminism, but when the right things happen for the wrong reasons, I become annoyed.

There are three reasons a girl would want to be part of a predominantly-male football game. Let's explore the validity of each reason as it applies to these girls:

1. To get a good workout

INVALID!
During the course of the game, the girls either hiked the ball to the QB and stood there or ran ten feet and stood there. Since they were matched defensively to other girls, physical exertion on defense was pretty much the same. No sweat was broken; no breath was audible.

2. To compete/win/improve

INVALID!
They suck. Can't run as fast, throw as hard, or catch as well. How could they possibly think they were contributing? Furthermore, they were definitely "phoning it in" (I learned that phrase today). Hardly any effort was put in to the tasks they could actually perform, and their attitude was less than positive. Chance for improvement: 0.

3. To socialize and surround themselves with men

By the process of elimination: VALID

This "reason" is unacceptable. If it were a friendly came of catch in the backyard, I could understand, but intramural sports are designed for competition and/or exercise. If you can't handle either, step aside and let the athletes play.

Just do it.