He says there aren't any easy answers. I say, he's not looking hard enough!

It's currently nearing dinner time as I write this, so I'm about decide what to eat. I'd like to include spinach in the mix since I just bought some this morning and am eager to be impulsively healthy. Only problem is, I'm running low on ideas of how to consume said spinach. A salad could work, but I have no dressing... I could drape it over a frozen pizza, but I don't have one of those either. So when life hands out a roadblock such as this, I turn to the one true, all-powerful master of knowledge: Google.

A normal person may search for "spinach recipes" or "food with spinach" but I chose to enter the obtuse, all-American query: "easy ways to eat spinach". I began typing this into the search-box, and suddenly, nosy old Google tried to guess what I was searching for.... A helpful feature both for your specific search and what you should be searching for as determined by popularity. So I had entered in the first three words, "easy ways to" when several 'suggestions' dropped down. I will list them in order:

easy ways to make money
easy ways to lose weight
easy ways to kill yourself
easy ways to earn money
easy ways to get high
easy ways to loose weight
easy ways to save money
easy ways to make money
easy ways to burn calories
easy ways to die

Apparently, humanity's most popular problems are: money, weight, suicide and spelling. And hiding in between: how to alter your consciousness to presumably escape all of these things.
I couldn't believe it! Money makes the list four times, followed by weight with three, and death with two! Ergo, if people can't find an easy way to get richer or thinner, the next obstacle to tackle is how to kill yourself! Unbelievable! Is this where we've arrived as a society? Is this what the downtrodden and unsatisfied have resorted to? Maybe not, since there is still an abundance of fat, poor people.

Not only are these our biggest problems, but we are searching for easy ways to deal with them! Invariably, there are Google patrons sitting at their PCs right now thinking, "Ok, I'm pretty sure I want to off myself, but I'd rather not put in a whole lot of effort." Then, after a search or two, "Ehh, this isn't working... may as well get high instead. Let's see here..."

Normally, one could attribute such lazy, vain, and capitalistic ideals to Americans, but Google is used around the globe from Australia to Zaire... indicating a that humans as a whole characterize such qualities.
I don't really doubt this, but it's almost nice to know that Americans aren't the only ones indulging in the eight deadly sins (eighth being poor spelling).

I think I might actually take my time with the spinach...