Children! Children! Future! Future!

You ever stop to consider the disparity between a holiday as an adult and that same holiday as a kid? Well I have! Right now, in fact. And if you'll allow me to illustrate...

New Years

As a kid: You stay up until midnight to watch the ball drop on TV
As an adult: You stay up until 4 in the morning at some club/bar/party looking for that "new year's kiss."

Birthday

As a kid: Wooo I'm getting older... and presents!
As an adult: Booo I'm getting older... but presents!

Valentine's Day

As a kid: You buy every kid in your class a valentine... Every kid.
As an Adult: For couples, you're in for some lovin'. For others, you're cursing St. Valentine until my throat is sore.

St. Patrick's Day

As a kid: You eat green cookies and believe in leprechauns
As an adult: You drink green beer and believe that you're Irish.

Easter

As a kid: You hunt for pastel-colored eggs and eat a chocolate bunny.
As an adult: You ponder the relationship between Bunnies and Jesus coming back from the dead.

Independence Day

As a kid: You go into town to watch the local fireworks display.
As an adult: You try to lift your head high enough to watch the fireworks while you drunkenly scream "GO AMERICA" by an ever-advancing bon-fire.

Columbus Day

As a kid: You learn both sides to the story of Columbus.
As an adult: Three-day weekend!

Halloween:

As a kid: You accost the homes of strangers in the attempt to obtain candy or the thrill of vandalism.
As an adult: After you duct-tape some beer-boxes to your torso, you attend parties with girls wearing only thin strips of cloth and a pair of red horns passing themselves off as "devils" (P.S. you're probably in college).

Thanksgiving

As a kid: relatives and food
As an adult: relatives and food.

Christmas

As a kid: You wait the whole month in anticipation of tons of presents you actually want but do not deserve.
As an adult: December 25th = Great! December 1-24 = Hell.


PS. My apologies to Jews, Muslims, Kwanzians, etc. I only have nostalgia for Christian Holidays. Maybe in another life...